Black Cloud Days

You know those days where you’re not having a bad day, but you can’t muster up positivity? Where you don’t have a flat tire and you’re on time to work, but it’s still a “bad” morning? These days make you feel guilty because life isn’t necessarily bad, but you can’t shake the black cloud that’s following you around, making matters worse. You’re waiting for happiness but the light you’re seeking is nowhere to be found.

Yesterday was a Black Cloud day.

I was productive at work. Nothing inherently bad happened to me… but there are certain things taking place around me that I have no control over. Some are not that big of a deal, but some are very important. And while on paper, I should at the very least be content, I cannot shake the black cloud that comes with the things I can’t control. It’s like I spend the day waiting for something I can’t control to make me happy. And not even doing anything to make that happen.

The weather outside was just as miserable as my mood when I got home from work yesterday. I crawled into bed and I pulled the covers over my head and was determined to sleep from 4:30 pm until forever. Maybe I even cried a little bit because that’s what I do when I feel overwhelmed and like I am losing control of things.

And as I’ve explained to you before, I stopped myself and said, “what are you doing? “.

I got up and grabbed my notebook, (I’ve been doing much better with keeping up with a journal this time around) I made a list of all of the things that are stressing me out or upsetting me. I took a black marker and crossed out all of the things that I cannot control. And I climbed out of bed and got to work on all of the others.

I sent out an email I’d been dreading to reply to.

I completely cleaned out my laundry room because with three boys in the house, it quickly becomes a source of stress for me.

I ate a healthy meal prepped dinner.

Cleaned out my kitchen cabinets and organized everything.

Put laundry away.

Called my mom because I’d been putting that off too.

And as each item got completed, the weight on my shoulders decreased a little bit more.

You can not and never will be able to control everything in your life. You cannot float idyllically through life and expect happiness to land in your lap. You can, however, take control of the things that are within your power and do what is necessary to find just small pieces of happiness.

Let them add up, let the small steps turn into long walks and eventually, you’ll realize the journey isn’t even as bad as you thought.

Contentment in the Healing

There are so many reasons a person might need healing beyond the obvious physical ailments. Addiction, dangerous relationships, disordered eating… The list sadly continues.

Personally, my healing is from a toxic, depressive, and dangerous mindset that held me hostage for a very long time. While we may have opened the door to make discussing and sharing a mental illness with others more acceptable, that still does not give one all of the necessary tools to appropriately deal with it.

Having come from an uncomfortably dark place myself, and essentially BY myself because sharing it wouldn’t have been received well, I feel it’s important to get the methods and tools that have been helpful to those of us who have moved forward out there to other people, who may feel “stuck” or alone.

This is a concept that I wish I’d known so much sooner. When you’re working towards shifting your mindset, especially early on, A bad day can feel like failure. You can go for three or four days and think you are back on track and then hit the ground in an emotional implosion on day five. That day five will make you feel like you are at the very beginning again.

That is not the case. Simply the fact that you’re actively working on pulling yourself out of that hole is progress. Every single day that you choose joy, even when it feels impossible, is a victory.

Don’t let the bad days consume you, rather sit with them, accept them and acknowledge them for what they are. Singular, 24 hour time frames where you can start over tomorrow. Finding a middle ground between the good and the bad days is where every day life lives.

Find the beauty and contentment in all of the above.

Confessions of an Ex- Self Destroyer (Finding your Spark)

Flatter tummy… toned legs… big booty… look good in a bikini. GOALS! This was exactly why I started to work out. This was my paltry list of goals. I shake my own head when I recall this, so it’s ok for you to do the same.  But eight years ago, when I found myself 60-70 pounds heavier than my current weight, I was determined only to wear the size 5 I could fit before 3 kids. I was going to look so “fit” it made everyone jealous and I was going to do it by not eating and working out daily, maybe twice a day. What. A. Plan.

It didn’t work, obviously. Not because I didn’t lose weight, I did. It didn’t work because the reason I wanted those things, the whole reason I wanted to look good, and have a flat stomach, the reason I wanted to weigh less, was to feel good about myself. I wanted those things, so that I could feel worthy and valuable.  It was as though, in my mind, every pound lost added to another dollar on my own personal price tag.

Since then, it’s indescribable how my outlook has shifted, and that’s why I want to share this. One of the best things I ever did in relation to my health was to hold myself more accountable in things unrelated to how I look. Throughout the course of a tumultuous few years of life, I reevaluated my priorities and why I wanted to be healthy.

I should note, I don’t mean just my weight. I mean real health; balanced blends of mental, emotional, & physical health that foster an environment of self-love, and allow you to give to others and remain full yourself. It’s the kind of healthy that encompasses everything you do, and guides you to make better choices in every facet of life.

While some painfully challenging things had to happen for me to wake up and say “WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!” it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone.

That is why I am sharing this. These are things that motivate me. These are the things that wake me up at 4:30 am to do yoga or meditate, to plan my day so I can have enough time for a run or hit the gym. They’re why I turn down sweet tea and cake most of the time. These are my sparks. They are the things that ignite a fire in me, even when I don’t understand how I will find the fuel to keep it going.

I encourage you, especially if you’re struggling to stay on track, to find your own sparks, something that has nothing to do with how you look. Something that says YES, You need to be healthy, but you are WORTHY no matter what. Find the reasons that push you that say, I’m doing this BECAUSE I am valuable, not to make me become valuable.

Read that again: take care of yourself and your health because you are already so incredibly valuable, not to make you become valuable.

My reasons?

I want to see where these three amazing boys make it in life. I want to be there to see them drive, graduate, get married, and to babysit my grandbabies. I want to be around as long as possible so they always have their biggest cheerleader in their corner.

I want to have the energy to create and plan and bring amazing things into this world. I want the ability and clarity to handle my career with the relentlessness and ambition of someone who won’t ever give up.

I want to have a high quality of life as I age. I want to be sure that I have done my part to monitor my health so that I stand a fighting chance should there be a day when something I CANNOT control comes my way.

I want to see everything this beautiful, amazing world has to offer.

How can you be bored? How can you be unmotivated in a world as vast and brilliant as this one? Make your spark your focus. Get your priorities together, and get moving. You’re worth more than allowing your own mind to cheat you out of living your best life.

Why football is life. (It’s not why you think)

If you’ve spent any time around me, you know that I love the game of Football. The physicality, team dynamics, and sport psychology in general are all fascinating to me. But moreover, in the past few years, I’ve drawn an audible (see what I did there?) analogy for football as it relates to life.

In the game of football, as in life, you have varying levels of involvement. You’ve got spectators, people in the bleachers. You have coaches, trainers, and individuals in positions of leadership with mentor qualities, and you have a team.

Then there’s you. You’re the quarterback. In your daily life, you make the passes. You decide when to pass, when to hold it, when to release. Sometimes you have to scramble and some days, a corner comes in from out of nowhere and you take a hit that knocks you completely off your feet. But you get back up, because you have another play coming.

The spectators sit in the stands. Sometimes they cheer for you. They paint their faces to show their commitment (because you’re winning) and they are so exhilarated by your progress. They proudly wear your number on your back and a sticker on their car. Until you start losing. They bad mouth you, “boo” you from the stands when you miss a pass or make a bad play. They sit in the bleachers and judge your every movement, all the while having no idea what it is you’re up against on your playing field.

Some of the spectators aren’t even cheering for your team. They are wearing the Garnet and Gold to your Orange and Blue and they want you to lose so much they can’t stand it. The Seattle Seahawks fans make so much noise and fill the stadium with such a raw energy, which causes such an impact on their opponents, that they’re dubbed Seattle’s “12th Man”… And don’t we all have a 12th man whose words and actions can make us falter even when we feel our most confident? Don’t we all have people who know the words to say and things to do that can distract us and make us lose focus on what’s REALLY important? They are so loud and it is overwhelming at times and we lose sight of the game in front of us. We fall apart at the hands of our own personal “12th men”.

Down on the playing field, scattered along the sidelines, you have coaches & trainers. They are people who are there to teach, lead &instruct. These are our mentors, the people we look up to. For lots of kids it is actual coaches. For adults it can be people who inspire us, those who motivate and give us the tools we need to succeed. They help us to create a playbook and game plan so we aren’t stumbling around blindly. They are integral to our success and sometimes, choosing the wrong one can be toxic to our progress as well. We should choose our teachers, coaches and advisors wisely.

You also have teammates on your sidelines, not quite in the game, but available. Most of them are there to help. They are not always present but sometimes, when relief is needed, they can be called in. These are your acquaintances. They are around for a good time even if not all of them have the same priorities as you, or the same goals. You will run into some of them who make the team weaker with drama or because they don’t pull their own weight. It may not even be intentional; they just don’t have the same vision as you. These people are your second stringers, your backups, & we all know these types of people in real life.

Finally, you have your starters. You can’t make it without them. These are your people. Your home team and when everything else is going wrong and you’re having a Cleveland Brown’s kind of season; these people have your back. You know, unequivocally, who these individuals are in your life. When you need to step back into the pocket, they are there. When it’s time to pull out a Hail Mary, they are in the end zone, ready to win it all right beside you. They lose with you, build with you, sweat and cry with you. When you botch a play or fumble the football, they are the first to jump and cover it. And for your biggest wins, they are the first to set you on their shoulders and cheer for you. I really could go on and on here.

There are so many different people who influence our lives on a daily basis. Your starters are going to be there for you regardless of the decisions you make. HOLD THEM CLOSE, they matter SO much.  Thank them, love them and make sure you are there for them just as they are for you.

Choose your coaches wisely, and be coachable. Surround yourself with people you can learn from and be coachable, be open to taking in new information and growing from those positive influences.

As for those folks in the bleachers? Take in the praise with humility and pride. Accept the constructive criticism gracefully… but never, EVER let that 12th man win. Don’t let the people, who aren’t even there for YOUR team, determine the outcome of your game. Their chants, distractions and antagonism is just noise. It can only affect you if you allow it to.

The negative people aren’t going anywhere. They don’t want to see you win, so it is up to you to stay in the pocket, behind your starters, focus on your target, and throw the ball.

Forward Movement

We aren’t always able to correlate certain feelings in our life with events that are happening. We can’t always instantaneously identify situations that are impacting the way out daily routines shift and change. A negative experience or emotion in one facet of life easily influences other areas and we don’t even realize and When this happens, it’s a natural reaction to feel anxious, overwhelmed, scared and exhausted. I know this because, let’s be honest, I live it frequently.

I am an emotional person. I get teary-eyed when a funeral passes by, regardless of whether I knew the departed or not. I often let TV commercials and shows move me to actual empathy for on-screen personality’s heartbreak or dilemma.

So it was no surprise that the end of a milestone school year for two of my three boys had me in shambles emotionally. My youngest will head into his final year of elementary school next year. My middle son is going to be traversing the awkward, treacherous journey that is middle school; and my oldest heads confidently to high school to pursue a future in one of the interesting fields he’s chosen as a potential career.

For the last three years, I’ve held these pieces together as a single parent on one income. We’ve learned how to become an entirely new family, overcome some of the hardest battles we’ve had to date, and we are tougher, stronger and better for all of it. And I am so unbelievably proud of it. There was just one problem.

I was a freaking wreck about it. I’m well aware that my job as a parent is to enable my children to become productive, caring and successful (using the word “successful” loosely because I do believe success is a relative thing and different for everyone) individuals. It’s my job to ensure there aren’t three extra assholes roaming the planet when they each turn 18. So far, we are on track for all of those things. I should have been excited that I’m accomplishing my goal and that my children are successful.

Really, I am excited about it. But here’s what I have learned. When one facet of my life is out of sequence, when something is changing or uprooting or settling or all of the above it directly impacts my entire life.

Not only do I feel anxious about my children getting older and gaining more independence, but those anxious thoughts bleed over into my work mindset as well. Not only am I overwhelmed at all the coordination required to attend all of the necessary school functions, but that in turn overwhelms me with all of the other commitments that I have.

Circumstances can trigger thoughts. Thoughts cause feelings. Feelings result in actions. And actions cause results. There’s an endless amount of fascinating research regarding thought process and how our mindset influences our actions.

I personally know from experience not only with myself but with other people who I have worked with in training and help coaching that our mind can be our biggest enemy. And this cycle is one of the simplest ways to describe the phenomenon.

The circumstance: my kids are stepping into new grades, schools and experiences.The thoughts: they will have more independence and will be subject to new challenges.The feelings: (here comes the can of worms) I’m frightened because with this newfound independence could come new mistakes, I’m overwhelmed because I’m not sure what to expect either. I’m anxious because I want them to be successful. I feel sad because my kids are that much closer to being on their own. There’s a lot more. We don’t need to go into it. The Actions: Panic. Because that’s exactly what we do when we are overwhelmed and anxious and are not in the right mindset to control it. Maybe over react to small situations because I’m on edge and anxious. (And cry…Because I’m sad)

The result: Pure chaos, disorder and frustration in my life because I’m panicking and on edge.

It is no way to live. So what options do we have? Sure, we can wallow in our self pity. We can make vague social media posts that urge others to say “what’s wrong?”. Or, we can find a solution.

This next part is truly mind blowing. It is so obvious that I can’t believe I haven’t been applying it all along. Take a look at that cycle and how we go from circumstances to results. Now work backwards.

The idea is to change things until you can’t anymore… when I look at what causes the results, It is my actions. Can I change those? Yes, I can. My feelings cause my actions, I can also reign those in. Because my thoughts are what controls my actions. That’s where the buck stops. Because I cannot change the circumstances.

Sometimes you will be able to change the circumstances. Sometimes you will only be able to change your results. But the trick is to find where the gap is in the way you deal with things.

So I take the CIRCUMSTANCES and I change my THOUGHTS but them. I think about it realize how lucky I am to have three amazing kids and I reflect on how hard I’ve worked and how proud I FEEL of myself and my family. This pride motivates me to work harder in the future, and create ACTIONS that will help me flourish in months and years to come. And the RESULTS? You can see where this is going.

Change your thoughts, change your mindset… change your life.

Eating Seasonal & a Black Bean and Tomatillo Chili Recipe

I am nearly 34 years old. I have never flown on an airplane, I’ve never gone on a cruise and… I have never seen snow.

The word “Seasonal” is relative when you live in a place like Florida. The extent of fall foliage color we achieve is dead tree branches on the ground from hurricane Irma a few weeks ago. For a total of 2.5 days in February, all of the leaves will fall off the trees at one time. We have to cover our palm trees and hibiscus bushes up when it dips below 50° and flip flops can be purchased right next to the Christmas décor.

This means that on the rare occasion the temperature DOES drop.. you must take full advantage… and that is why I’ve broken out my favorite chili and fall recipes this week. The weather says it will be 47° this week!!!

So eating “seasonal” may sound a little unnecessary. But that is not the case! Here are 4  reasons you should eat seasonally, and then , a great recipe filled with some seasonal veggies!

1. Cost Efficient: Purchasing foods that are in season is an optimal way of eating healthy while on a budget. Foods that are in season are more cost efficient to grow and that savings trickles down to you, the buyer.
2. Nutritional Value: Foods that are grown in season tend to be more dense in nutrients. These foods are sold closer to their harvest date, meaning they maintain more of their freshness at the point of sale.
3. Taste and quality: When food is harvested from the vine or plant in season, they normally boast a much more flavorful experience. When grown out of season, foods must be stored and transported, meaning extended periods of refrigeration and sometimes chemical treatments to maintain freshness. Eating in season helps eliminate much of that.
4. Supports your nutritional needs: Personally, this is one of the primary reasons I started trying to eat more of my food in season. Evolutionally speaking, our bodies have adapted to eating the food that is available at certain times of the year. Have you ever noticed that citrus fruit, with all its Vitamin C, is at it’s peak during flu season? Or that summer vegetables are high in beta-carotene, which protects our skin against the sun’s harmful rays? There are examples of this all through out the plant kingdom. Eating in season gives your body the nutrients it needs, right when it needs them.

Sounds great, right? It’s easier than you think to eat in season. And below, you’ll find a perfect recipe to get you started.

Black Bean and Tomatilla Chili

Ingredients

1 1/2 C black beans

1 1/2 C garbanzo beans

corn off of two ears of corn (or 1 can)

1 orange bell pepper, seeded and chopped

1/2 yellow onion, diced

4 large carrots, diced into 1/4-1/2″ slices

2 large tomatillos, diced

1lb + of ground turkey or grass fed beef

3 tsp EVOO

1 tbsp. minced garlic

3 tsp chili powder

dash of cayenne

dash of crushed red pepper

dash of salt and pepper

1 avocado (optional topping)

Monterey Jack cheese (optional topping)

Place the first 7 ingredients into a slow cooker. In a large skillet, sauté the garlic in olive oil just until lightly browned. Add the meat and all seasonings and cook until no pink shows. Strain lightly and add to the slow cooker. Cook over low heat for 8 hours. You can add more cayenne or chili powder an hour before serving to get it slightly spicier.

Add either of the optional toppings, I love avocado for the healthy fats you gain from it.

This keeps well in the fridge for 2-3 days and can also be placed in the freezer if you choose, just give plenty of time to thaw when you are ready to eat it.

Below are a couple of resources if you want an idea of how to eat seasonally. One of the best ways is to visit a farmer’s market and buy local, this is a 5th benefit to eating this way… you can support your local economy!

 

 

Buffalo Chicken Stuffed Spaghetti Squash

Growing up, I had a half brother that I lived with all of the time, and three step brothers that we visited who lived with our dad and step mom. As the only girl out of 5 kids, my life was constant turmoil.
I couldn’t walk around a corner without being scared by someone in a werewolf mask. I couldn’t eat dinner without picking spitballs out of my hair and we will not even discuss how gross the bathroom stayed, or how frightening it was to navigate the house in the dark.

But by Far, the cruelest thing they ever did to me was while we were eating dinner at a Mexican restaurant. As usual, the kids sat at one table, the adults occupied one nearby. My oldest step brother, (sadly he passed away this year) left to use the restroom. So we poured a heaping helping of salt into his sweet tea. We all laughed and laughed when he took a giant gulp of it and did a spit take in the middle of the restaurant.. 

Later during dinner, I myself got up to use the restroom. When I got back to the table, my food had arrived, it was just tacos. But this place had the best tacos I can ever remember having. I could feel my mouth salivating as I took a colossal bite out of my first taco. 

I knew instantly I’d made a huge mistake. My eyes started to water and my face got hot, and my mouth may has well have been engulfed in flames. My brothers must’ve realized that this surpassed being funny and could possibly constitute an emergency because they were shoving drinks in front of me as the scooped ice out of the cups for me with spoons… glancing nervously at the table where our parents sat, hoping they didn’t notice. 

To this day our parents don’t know about it, because had I told them, I would’ve gotten in trouble for formulating the salt trick that started it all. That’s how the sibling code works. It’s sacred. 

Since the day my brothers drowned my taco in hot sauce, I have avoided anything even remotely spicy. My Mom makes chili, and I follow her recipe, but it is a safe one that even my kids will eat. So when I saw a picture of this Stuffed Spaghetti Sqaush recipe, I was saddened to see it had the word “Buffalo” in the name.

But then I thought about adding feta cheese. And how chopped celery would offset the spice. And how good the roasted squash would be with chicken… and I broke. I went so far out of my comfort zone, and I made. 

Best. Cooking. Decision. Ever. It was super simple, besides cooking the squash it didn’t take long at all either. 

You can really control the heat of this dish, one variation would be to roast the chicken with cayenne and chili powder to give it an extra kick. or add a little bit of hot sauce to the buffalo sauce that’s giving in the recipe.

Here’s how I made it. Sans hot sauce or cayenne. 

INGREDIENTS 

• 1 spaghetti squash 
• 2 roasted chicken breasts (I cooked mine in the crockpot with garlic for the day)
• 1 cup chopped red bell pepper
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 1/4 cup chopped celery
• 1/2-1 cup buffalo wing sauce (I use Tessamae’s because it’s a super clean variation) 
• Feta or Bleu cheese as desired 
• Small amount of salt and pepper and extra virgin olive oil

Start by cooking your squash. Preheat your oven to 375. Cut the ends off and then cut the squash in half lengthwise. Scoop the seeds out of the inside (think like a pumpkin). Brush each half of the squash with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Like a baking sheet with parchment paper and place the squash, cut side down, on the paper. Bake for about 30-40 minutes or until you can easily pierce the skin with a fork. 

Meanwhile, shred the chicken and place in a large bowl with the cut vegetables.

 At this point, I added the buffalo sauce a little at a time to be sure I didn’t go overboard because I was scared of it burning my mouth. 

When you remove the spaghetti squash, it will be ready to shred. Be careful, it will be hot! Using a fork, scrape the “noodles” out.

Add the scraped squash into the chicken mixture. Stir just until it’s blended. Once combined, fill what’s left of the spaghetti squash shells up with the mixture you just created. Sprinkle feta cheese on top and bake for 10 to 15 minutes longer.

Remove from the oven and let cool. You can serve them right in the “bowls” of the squash or scoop out to serve. 

10 Things I did to Get Healthy

I don’t especially love sharing my “before” pictures. Not so much because I’m embarrassed because of how I looked, but because I really don’t care to revisit the mental state I possessed back then. It’s a part of my story though, and an important part at that. 

So here is me in 2010-ish, and me this summer on the right… The left picture was about 2 years through my healthy lifestyle change. I’d lost probably 40 pounds by the time the picture on the left was taken. The right one is close to where I am today, I have a little more muscle now because I have taken a powerlifting approach in my training.

There are so many things that had to happen for me to progress the way I have. I should also add now, that I am nowhere near the end of my fitness journey. I find new goals, new methods and tactics. I learn more and I figure out what works best for the current season of my life.

There are things that I never would’ve experienced success without, however. Especially when I first started out. They may not be the same things that work for you, but we can definitely find what WILL.

I woke up early. Sometimes, early needed to be 4 am. Thankfully now it’s 5 am most days, but regardless, this was probably the most important change. Other things had to happen, for this to become a habit though.

I found a workout style I love. Some people love Zumba. Some people commit to cross fit. Some love bodybuilding and others, yoga. Find what’s best for you and you’ll be more likely to stick with it. 

I set goals. No matter how small, I set goals for EVERYTHING.

I smiled more. This one is cheesy. But it’s very key to success. As is the next one…

I found a hobby. This allowed me to have some clarity, down time and focus my thoughts in a productive way.

I reached out to others in my position. If you are old enough to remember, 2007-ish was the dawning of Myspace (yes I just went there….) and I sought out people and pages geared towards my goals.

I stopped smoking. Yes. I smoked. Off an on for about 6 years. I would stop when I was pregnant and begin again afterwards. It was terrible and by far the hardest change to make, especially since it hindered my weight loss temporarily when I quit.

I joined the gym. For the first 2 years, I ran, played with my kids and did little challenges I found online. Eventually, to stay motivated, I needed the gym. I haven’t looked back since.

I stopped buying garbage. This was another huge step. Especially because my family was used to eating a certain way, I had to change that for all of us.

I got a divorce. hahahaha, just kidding… but it’s definitely changed the way things work a bit. Actually 10: I stopped being so hard on myself. You are human. You will experience set backs. You will struggle. You will have to take a different route and sometimes, as hard as it is, you may even have to start from scratch. But the beauty of all of that is this: You are under no obligation to any but yourself to make YOU better. Do your best and take your time.

Your ten things may consist of some of these. Or all of them. Or none. It might be 1 thing. It might be 37. But you won’t know until you get started. Start with step one. There’s help along the way, you’re never alone.

Trust me when I say this: I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. You are not hopeless, it is not too late, and you CAN do this. Just take the first step!

Weight Loss vs. Fat Loss (and why one means absolutely nothing)

You found this AWESOME 500 calorie military diet on Pinterest and you’ve been sticking with it for a few weeks. You’re losing weight! Perhaps lightheaded and weak, maybe your skin doesn’t look as healthy but whatever, you’re skinny! <sarcasm>

Or did it happen like this….

“Hey <Insert Name>, haven’t seen you since <Insert Timeframe>! Hope you’re doing well! By the way, have you heard of <Insert ANY. I MEAN ANY multi level marketing supplement company that requires a monthly supply of some shake, patch or pill>”

You re-read the text or facebook message and recall seeing that she has lost some weight recently, she looks great. Huh. Wonder what this is about. You send her back a message and before you know it, you’re trying out samples and committing yourself to trying what she’s selling.

Now both of these can go one of two ways. Either you fully commit to the diet/product and see “results”, or you don’t adhere to the protocol and you give up. What’s important to understand is that this product, This DIET, didn’t work or fail for you. At all. It is not the product that produced results, and you didn’t miss your mark by NOT committing to eating 500 calories.

Fad diets, Meal replacement shakes, pills and patches can be a catalyst for change in people’s lives, because when you begin taking/drinking/applying it, you should be eliminating the current negative habits you have. THIS IS WHY THEY WORK. You are not losing weight because of the product, you are losing weight because you ELIMINATED the bad stuff.

LET ME SAY THIS AGAIN FOR THE FOLKS IN THE BACK. You are losing weight, your body is shrinking because you aren’t eating chocolate and drinking soda every day. NOT because you found a miracle product that melts away the pounds. Sadly, if you didn’t see results, it’s likely you still consumed the not so good for you stuff as well.

NOW. Here’s where it gets tricky, because you’re losing weight, and that seems like a good thing. But what most fail to recognize is that ideally, you would specifically lose fat, not just weight.

Read this over. If you didn’t feel like going over all of that, let me sum it up for you. When you lose weight in the wrong manner, when you lose weight by drinking a few shakes and skipping meals, it is unsafe, unhealthy and not sustainable. Your muscles will deteriorate, your organs will begin to break down, your cells will age faster… you can’t live off of supplements! These changes happen slowly, over the course of months and even longer. But ultimately, your body will notice and crave the missing elements you’ve removed.

(Not to mention 130 pounds of strength trained and 50/30/20 fueled bodyweight looks way better than 130 pounds of deprived organs and skin)

When you fuel your body with the RIGHT AMOUNT OF REAL FOOD, you will lose fat while maintaining the integrity of the rest of your body. You can eat this way forever and ever and ever, safely. It’s also less expensive than a multilevel marketing plan, when you know what you’re doing.

Does meal prep take time? It can. Does planning your weekly menu take a little effort. If you do it without help, yes. BUT it is sustainable and it works. This is how the body works, guys, clever marketing and pretty packaging don’t make a product or lifestyle good for you, it’s only pretty on the surface. Dig dipper, start a movement with your health by eating well and moving more.

Why Grind and Shine?

I have a bad habit of creating this grandiose plan in my head: this goal and dream and idea and it’s going to be AWESOME and NO ONE is going to stop me and I map it out and get started and….

I freak out.

I get scared. I hear negativity directed my way. It doesn’t go as I’d hoped right off the bat. It doesn’t end up as… well, grand as I wanted. People don’t like or “need” what I have, So I back down and I stay quiet so as not to disturb others or humiliate myself. People don’t think what I am doing is what I should be doing with my life. So I quiet my thoughts so as to not make waves.

I’ve gone through a series of changes in my life that have required different levels of confidence, counterbalanced with keeping myself out of the line of fire. I have struggled between wanting to feel and look great while worrying that people are “watching me”. (Not like peeking through the windows watching me, but “hey look, that girl doesn’t know what she’s doing” watching me).

I don’t really know which was harder. When I had less confidence physically, when I was my heaviest weight after my three children were born? Or maybe 3 years ago… when my divorce happened and I felt as though everyone I knew was judging me and watching my every move. Neither were a great feeling. At all.

I spent time during both phases worrying a lot about what others thought of me. I stayed small, stayed quiet about myself and my ideas. My goals, dreams and plans sounded fantastic in my own little world, but when presented to the one outside of my mind, they crumbled, and so did I. I smothered whatever fire I had going, trying to make sure I didn’t burn too brightly, because shining too brightly meant people would look at me. Couldn’t have that, now could we?

So what happened? What flipped the switch? I really don’t know. I DO know that I got tired of stifling myself for the comfort of others. I became very depressed by living solely for the satisfaction and approval of other people. It’s wearisome. It makes you feel inadequate and steals your joy.. it dims your light.

So Slowly, I started to shed the weight of other peoples’ opinions. Now, something important to note here is that I did NOT start disregarding their feelings, I did not start to mistreat people because I wasn’t adhering to THEIR expectations. If anything, I find myself even more caring and patient in dealing with negative people, because I have been there and I understand the cycle. But when I set out for the day, I try my hardest to let my light shine so brightly that other people are warmed and inspired by it too. I try to make sure THEY are positively impacted by me, rather than letting them get to me first.

I simply live MY life on my terms, choosing to shine regardless of how they interpret it.

What’s all this have to do with health coaching? It’s my “why”.  It is the reason I do what I do. I know how it feels to be in a dark, lonely place and how your heart hurts when your light is smothered, whether by your very own breathe or someone else’s. My “why” is to make sure I help as many people as possible find THEIR light.

It is hard. It is challenging. It takes grit, grind, determination and discipline.

Get it??? Grind and Shine!!!

But all the work you put in, all the positive thinking, all the good you put out into the world in the process, creates a ripple effect and little by little, by changing our mind, outlook, bodies and health, we can create something amazing.